Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I promised for today, so I'll post what I have so far. I woke up with a very bad cold and I don't really have the energy to finish it out today. It'll be done at a later date. Here's some more Ian and Shane:

Tensions Run High

"Yes, Shane?"
"When should we start?"
"Soon. I’m not sure about how things are going to go from here Shane, I really don’t. And before we get started I want you to know, that whatever happens, I take full responsibility. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry. If things go bad, I want you to know, that you’re a dear friend and I love you very much."
"Yes, Shane?"
"I want you to know that I know that this is your fault. I knew that already. There was no need for you to tell me that and make me even more angry than I already am. I want you to know that I hate you, with all of me. With every bit of me, I hate you. And – "
"Well fuck you then shane,. I was trying to be good abou–"
"Fuck me? Fuck me? Fuck you, this is all your fault!"
"I KNOW! I just said that!"
"What the fuck good does that do? We know where we stand, you’re an asshole, and you got us killed."
"Well what do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say that you’ve got a way out of this. Tell me you have a rescue on the way. Tell me you have a shotgun. Tell me you can get us out of this. That’s what you should be telling me."
"Well I don’t have a way out of this."
"I know you don’t you’re a fucking idiot. I fucking hate you and we’re going to die. DIE, Ian. We’re going to DIIIIEEEEE. Save your apology for someone who isnt about to DIIIIEEEEE. I don’t fucking care because we’re going to DIIIIIEEEE. Fucking pay the fuck attention! We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere. Enough with the lovefest, get us the fuck out of here."
"You know, it was you who had the fucking heater running all night, you shane. Not me. You. You used up all the gas, AND all the fucking Pelligrino."
"Yeah, I’m glad I did that. Glad, if all goes well you’ll die of thirst and I’ll get to watch. And may I say, that was some of the best Pelligrino I ever had. BEST EVER. Delicious. Almost silky. It was delicious and I’m glad I drank it all and I’m glad you’re going to die."
"I’m glad you’re going to die."
"Not as glad as me."
"That’s right because I’m more glad!"
"I’m the gladdest."
"That’s not even a word!"
"Oh I’m so sorry, Mr. Dictionary it must be the Pelligrino talking!"
"Oh that’s real mature, Shane. Very mature."
"Fuck you, Ian."
"Fuck you, Shane."

"So Are we just going to sit here in silence and wait for death to come knocking at the door?"
"I’m working on a plan, Ian. It’s a solo mission."
"Oh really? A solo mission? Then I guess you wont be needing to stay in the car for much longer then."
"Well, no I do, but –"
"oh no. No no. I insist. Go on your solo mission. Go ahead. No get out. Get the fuck out of my mercedes X60"
"No but I’m not ready yet –"
"You look ready, Shane. You do, you look fit. Go. Go get it done. Go get out of here. GO! GO! GO! Get the fuck out! GO! AAHHHHH!!"
"Stop pushing, Ian. Stop it. Knock it off, stop it. Stop! You’re going to attract them. The whole car is shaking."
"OH I don’t even care anymore. Let them come! I’m ready to die! Ready. Why? Why would you go without me? Why Shane, Why? Don’t leave me here alone Shane. Don’t I cant make it, Shane. Please, shane. PLEASE!"
"Oh Ian. I was only kidding, it’s ok. I wouldnt leave, I wouldnt leave you here. I wouldnt. I promise. It’s ok. Shhhhh. It’s going to be ok. Cmon, pull it together. Don’t cry. I’m here. It’s ok."
"I’m just so frightened Shane. Just affraid. I’m affraid. I’m sorry."
"It’s ok, Ian. It’s ok. We’ll get through this. But now you need to be strong. I need you to be Brave. Ok? We have to think. We can get out of here. But it’s going to be tough. I need to know that you’re up for it."
"AH, sniff, I think, I think I’m ok. I’m sorry. I just lost control for just a second there. I’m sorry. I snapped a little."
"It’s ok. I’m sorry about earlier. There’s a lot of pressure. We’re just exhausted. We need to get home."
"Yes. I think we should work out a plan."
"You’re the plan man, shane. I’m following your lead."
"Really? You’re not going to go solo, then?"
"No. I’m with you. One hundred percent."
"High five?"
"High five.

Another plan.

"I took an inventory."
"Ok. What do we have to work with, Shane?"
"Empty box of Pelligrino. One pair of Denzos. Spare tire. Jack. Wallets containing zero dollars in cash and fourteen credit cards. A pair of keys. One Mercedes, gasless, black, X60, straight six, Fuel injection, turbo –"
"The car. Just say the car. I get it."
"The car. And that looks to be about it."
"Nothing very useful."
"Smoke signals."
"We could light the Pelligrino box on fire. We’ll take my jacket and use it to signal for help."
"Could that work?"
"It might."
"All right. I think it’s worth a shot."
"I think you’re right."
"We still have battery life, right?"
"My mercedes? It’s a mercedes, Shane. It could probably power the city."
"All right. Good. I’m going to need you to open the sun roof –"
"Moon roof."
"Moon roof. I’m going to need you to open the moon roof while I get the empty Pelligrino box out of the trunk."
"Ok. But be careful. Be quick. Be quick and be careful."
"I will. All right. On the count of three, pop the trunk."
"One. Two. Three. GO!!"
"Hurry, Shane. They’re everywhere!"
"I got it, I got it!"
"Quick, close the door. Quick.. Quick. Quick."
"Done. Done. Oh man. I got it. I got it. We’re fine. I don’t think any black –
"African Americans"
"African Americans. I don’t think any saw me. African Americans."
"African Americans."
"All right. So now we have to light this on fire. Moon roof?"
"Heh. Coat check. Remember that time we went to Spino’s for dinner and that Coat Check girl –"
"Later Shane. Focus."
"All right. This thing has a lighter right?"
"Shane, this ‘Thing’ is a Mercedes X60. There’s probably a blow torch in here, or one of those laser saws. Stop asking ridiculous questions of my Mercedes X60. It’s like you don’t even know where you are."
"All right. I get it. It’s a nice car. Let’s move on shall we?"
"Let’s shall."
"Oh Ian. Ian we’re in luck! Look, up in the sky!"
"It’s a traffic helicopter! Hit the lighter."
"All right. Here we go."
"All right......."
"It takes a second. Warms up."
"Laser saw, he says. How long does–"
Ping! "There. Here here you do it."
"All right. Just have to get it going."
"Start at one of the edges. There you go.Hold it upside down so it catches."
"Here it goes. Here it goes. Beautiful. I’ll tell you, nothing burns like a high class box."
"No sir. That’s german engineering for you."
"All right, Get my coat. Get my coat!"
"How do I–"
"Just waft it. Waft."
"All right. S"
"Did we do that right?"
"I don’t know morse code"
"Me neither. They’ll get the idea, I think."
"I hope so. Shane watch it. Watch the edges."
"I am, Ian. I know how to burn a box. It’s –"
"Shane! The edge dropped off. It’s melting my apolstery!"
"It’ll be fine. I’ll buy you more."
"Shane! Shane watch the roof."
"It’s burning too well, Ian. Waft, Ian, waft for all you’re worth!"
"I’m wafting. I’m wafting!"
"Watch my coat, Ian!"
"Fuck! It caught!"
"That’s my fucking coat, Ian!"
"Ah ah ah ah. Hot hot hot hot."
"What are you doing?"
"It was burning my hand."
"Why would you throw it in the back seat?"
"My fucking hand was hot. Watch the roof"
"Oh jesus Ian. The roof. It caught. Shit"
"Shit shit shit shit shit."
"Ian the car is on fire. It’s on fire. What do we do?"
"No! No more wafting! Fuck. Fuck. Get out Ian get out!"
"Out of the car? "
"Ian, get out of the BURNING CAR."
"It’s a mercedes X60!"
"What?? It’s a fucking fireball, Ian! Get the fuck out! Out. Now. Go go go."
"Oh jesus, Shane. Are you ok. Did you get burned?"
"No I’m fine. I’m fine. You?"
"I’m ok. My fucking car!"
"Fuck the car, look!"
"Oh my god, they’re everywhere, Shane."
"They’re coming towards us Ian."
"They’re attracted to the flames. Like moths Shane. They’re Moths!"
"Oh jesus. Oh sweet jesus. They’re too close. They’re too many of them, Ian."
"Shane, hand me that stick."
"Just do it, Shane."
"Ian, I–"
"I’m lighting it on fire, Shane."
Black guy: "oh my god, are you guys ok"
"Back you savages! Back!"
"Shane, what the fuck are you doing."
"Ian! Save yourself. Run Ian, Run! Back, savages. Get back!"
Black guy: "Stop swinging that stick around, you’re going to hurt somebody –"
Shane: "Get back you savage! Get away! Back! Ian! Ian! Go, run! Save yourself!"
Ian: "I won’t leave you"
Shane: I"m not giving you any choice. You have to go. Save yourself."
Ian: "I’ll never forget you Shane!"
Shane: "Go, now. Go. Please Ian. I cant keep them back much longer."
Black guy: "What are you doing? Get away from the fire, you crazy bastard."
Shane: "You stop talking voodoo! Ian Run!"
Ian: Run?
Shane: Run.

Ian’s escape!

Through the parking lot, get away from the crowd. Get away.

"back. Get back, savages."

Block him out of your head, he’ll be fine. He’s smart. He’ll get out of this. You’re on your own now, Ian. You just killed your best friend. Stop it. Stop thinking like that. There’s no time for that. He’s gone now. Save yourself now. Think clearly. You killed him he’s dead. No! No! No!
There. If I cut through the Kinda-Save's parking lot. Buy a Kinda-Save someday. I can go from the parking lot up to the overpass. I can flag someone down. I can hitch a ride and he’s dead and I killed him and he’s gone and I killed him I can get through this. I can get through this. How did I not realize that starting a fire in the car would be a bad idea. Overpass. Get to the overpass.
Run. Run. Remember your breathing. One foot in front of the other. Go go go.

Ian arrives at Shane’s house.

"Shelly is supposed to be here. She’ll want to know that her boyfriend is dead. And that I killed him. I killed him. I’m so sorry, Shane. I’m sorry. SHELLY? SHELLY ARE YOU HERE?"
"No. Not Shane. Ian."
"Oh Ian. Where’s Shane, he never came home last night we were supposed to watch a movie. And what’s happened to your clothes. You look awful"
"He’s. Oh jeusus, Shelly. He’s dead."
"What? What do you mean he’s dead."
"We went to go meet an African American and –"
"Why on earth would you do that?"
"We didnt have anything else to do, but listen –"
"he’s not dead, what do you mean he’s dead?"
"He’s dead. We were surrounded by black people and the car caught fire, and he fought them off, he bought me time so I could get away. He’s a hero. He’s dead and it’s all my fault."
"Oh my god, Ian. You bastard. You bastard, Ian!"
"I’m sorry Shelly. I’m sorry. They were everywhere and I – Oh say, do you have any Pelligrino."
"You bas– Pelligrino? Oh, of course."
"Oh boy am I thirsty."
"I’ll bet. Let’s get you some water."
"So Shane’s dead then?"
"From what I gather."
"Yeah. Good Peligrino. Thank you."
"Oh sure. I mean it’s not mine, but..."
"Best not to think of it. For now let’s just say that it’s our Peligrino."
"Yes. Ours. I think he wouldve wanted it that way."
"I think so."
"Is this couch Morrocan? It’s nice. Got a bit of a sheen to it."
"I think so. It’s a good couch. Are those Denzos?"
"No. Shane had a pair for me here though. I’ll have to find them."
"Oh yeah, root through everything. I don’t mind"
"I’m bored."
"Me too. Want to have sex?"
"Yeah. I think that’d be best."


"So I figure we should set up some sort of scolarship fund, or tribute to Shane."
"Shane, that guy I left for dead. We’re in his bed."
"Oh right. Right. Yeah, I mean whatever. Do what you want. I’m going to go hit the gym."
"Great. I’ll see what I can do with that."
"Can I have some money?"
"For what?"
"Just because. I would like some, please."
"Oh, yeah. My wallets on fire at the moment, but Shane probably has some money lying around. Go dig around."
"Oh, ok. Do you need anything from out?"
"No. I’m going to set up that scolarship fund, maybe throw a memorial in a few hours. You want to go?"
"No. I’ve got Yoga, and then I’m getting my toes done."
"Oh. All right. I’ll see you later then."
"You going to be here all day?"
"I hope not. I don’t think a memorial will take that long. I’m going to try to wrap up by three so I can get home and get a new car. I’ve got golf in the morning besides."
"I’ll see you later."
"No money, right."
"Not on me, no."
"ok then. I gotta go get a latte before yoga."

The memorial service.
Still more to come. As I said, too sick to work on it right now, the hottest girl I ever saw just walked by holy shit. It should be finished in the next few days. Once I heal. A lot of what's been written so far will be removed and such.
I'm going to go drink more tea and then maybe have some soup and watch a movie. Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

place holder

Ian and Shane was largely finished yesterday. I've got a few pages left and I'll post it. Then I'll edit it and repost it. I sorta hit a snag. Endings are hard for me, I get attached and I suck at feeling satisfied with conclusions. I don't really know why I'm writing this right now as I'm fairly sure nobody is checking this with wild abandon or even any regularity.

I'm hoping to finish up the writing tonight. Then maybe edit it tonight also. And then I'm going to start from the bottom of this page and work my way up on finishing everything. I believe that Sherpa is next in line. Then I'm going start posting pages of something else I've been working on that I like very much and is different from everything here. More serious. A little sad.

Also worth noting is that at the moment I smell pretty awful.

My feet are seriously One Foot Long,

One Foot Feet