Sunday, June 06, 2010

I am Magic.

All My Luck.

My girlfriend is great. She said the other day that she was going to blindfold me and take me somewhere for breakfast. That I'd be excited.

My brother bought me a hat a while ago that I don't really wear because it doesn't fit my head correctly. I have a giant head and this hat is small, and made of wool, and so the times that I've worn it in the snow have shrunk it quite a bit. Just the cap part, the ponpom is still the same size. I keep it because it reminds me of my brother, and that my brother is the kind of person to travel alone to the deeper parts of Mexico without knowing spanish and buy me a hat. To reorganize: My brother once went to the heart of the Mexican jungle, so deep and far away that it barely counts as Mexico and bought me a winter hat. I like the hat. I'm talking too much about the hat. My brother is also great.

Anyway. So we get in her car that is slowly becoming our car, though I'll never really call it that. I'll leave it be her car, it makes more sense. Our car will come after that one and we'll buy it together. The main function of "our" is mutual ownership, I'm just lucky enough to use this one. Our apartment is our apartment. Our cats are our cats. Her car is not our car. I put my brothers hat on and try to pull it down over my eyes, but it doesnt fit, so I tilt it so the back is up over my ears and the front is down over my eyes. I can see right through the cap, so I have to use the headband to go over my eyes. Also, the wool is not machined. I don't know if it's wool even. But it's itchier than hell, the strands of hat will poke into your skin, so leaving my eyes open is not only impossible but borderline dangerous.

I brought a deck of cards. If we were going where I thought we were going, we were going to Stinson Beach to enjoy a nice California day outdoors. Amanda. My girlfriend's name is Amanda. I should have said that by now. Anyway - early in her time here in California, just after she'd moved here, I took her to Stinson Beach because it's an amazing place to go and you can make it from my then apartment and our current apartment on a quarter tank of gas and significantly less planning. It's beautiful. It's the california coast and it's blue and green forever. I brought the deck of cards today, because on that day, when I took her to Stinson the first time we had a deck of cards with us so that we could play Gin. I should say: so that she could beat me in gin. I do not win at gin. That first day we wound up sitting at a bar having lunch and playing cards and trying to ignore the locals. Today, with the blindfold on, I took them out and idly began to shuffle because it is difficult to hold a conversation with a blindfold on. I decided, silently, that I'd stop shuffling when I thought there was an ace on the bottom of the deck.

Important note. I removed the cards from the pack and began to shuffle them and could tell - based on the wear of the cards - which side was up. This was the only thing I could honestly tell about the deck of cards. I cannot see the cards. I only know which end is up. Though, they could be some up and some down in the deck - but I confirm with Amanda: "Is this right side up?" she says yes.

I start shuffling the cards while we talk. Maybe thirty or forty times. And then I stop. And then I ask Amanda "Is this an ace." And it is. It's the ace of clubs. I don't believe her so I peek, and it is. It's the ace of clubs. I am excited because I am magical and that's amazing. But 1 in 13 chance. Not crazy long odds.

I go back to shuffling, Amanda does not believe me or my magical abilities. We're talking. I laugh a bit and in the process, while blind folded, I drop the cards everywhere. Not all of them. But about a quarter of the deck. Some go between the seat and the center console. The rest go to the floor, some are leaning against my shoes, they are scattered and I pick them up. I put them back in the pile again - blindfolded, not looking. I assume they're all in the right order, but there's no way to know. I count the cards in tens to make sure that I have them all. I don't - I'm missing two cards. I feel around for them on the floor for about thirty seconds and eventually find them. They are under the seat and have slid down through the space between the center console and the seat. I grab two and slap them back on top.

It's about now that we're talking and amanda correctly assumes that I have a pretty good idea of where we're going. "If you guess right, I'll tell you." I say "Stinson Beach." And she says "Right!" And I'm excited because it's a perfect goddamned day and I pop off my brothers hat and we're about halfway across the Richmond bridge and I still have the cards in my hands. I am amazed to find that they are all facing the right direction, I spread the cards in my hand and the filigree on the blue bicycle cards fans across, except one. The ace of clubs, dead in the center of the deck.

To review:

While blindfolded, I figured out that a deck of cards was all face up. Then I was able to shuffle them and then, using my psychic powers feel that an Ace had settled on the bottom of the deck. Then with my less useful clumsy powers I dropped about 20 cards on the floor. I picked them up, arranged them to correct face-down position, and when I removed my blindfold the only card facing face up was my card, the ace of clubs.


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