Monday, May 19, 2008


When I first came out here I bought a Moleskine Notebook. Here's a paragraph about that that I found in one of my journals: I'm a fucking idiot and can't find it. Never mind.

Anyway, I came across it again today. I found something in there that made me laugh. I don't remember when I wrote it, but it's a To Do List for a Super Villain. Here it is:

- Car still isn't ready. Consider installing Time Machine in bathtub or love seat.

- Fire hydrant switch to secret lair on 5th street is malfunctioning. Probably a transistor problem. Send a Frogman. Lenny?
- Talk to Head Frogman about daytime curfew. Saw Frogman in Wendy's. Unacceptable.

- Get Milk, eggs, brown sugar, butter and flour. Bake sale.

- Get sulfuric acid, lithium crystals, seventy two car batteries, series of lenses. Acid Laser/Power Man's Face.

- Call Janice. Been on my ass about child support.
- Ray gun "accident"?

- Just put it in the bathtub. It won't have the same effect, but I'm appearing out of nowhere and I have a cell phone. Good enough. Pick up Dinosaur. Ride dinosaur into capitol building in the 1800's. If time allows, attempt to kill Janice's grandparents.

- Pneumatic tube connected to White House needs adjusting. President arrived for weekly meeting with nosebleed and threatened to cut my funding.

- Check progress on Space Station.
- Test Rocket boots.
- Febreeze Space suit.

- Pay Zephyr The Confounding for Steelers game.
- Find out if Quarter Back has telepathy.
- Have him liquefied

- Destroy unbelievers, punish insolence, demand respect, money, bake sale blue ribbon.


1 comment:

Arod McFoolish said...

"Larry?" Best line. Wonderful.