Monday, July 13, 2009

Introducing Mr. Penny.

I've got another itch to do something long form. I have an idea. Hopefully a finishable, tolerable idea.

This is how it started, more or less:

"Look, I swear I don't know what you're talking about."
"Do not make this harder for the both of us! I do not wish to waste my time, you would do well to answer my questions. Do you deny that I witnessed this sign with mine own eyes?"
"Do I what?"
"Last week, there was a sign, here, was there not?"
"What sign."
"Sir, were you or were you not working last Tuesday, the 23rd?"
"Yeah, I filled in for Jeff."
"Aha! So you admit that you were working, am I correct?"
"Yes. I filled in for Jeff. He had a thing."
"Where is this 'Jeff' today? Hm?"
"He had another thing, he'll be here tomorrow."
"Interesting. Jeff. Interesting. And yet you say that there was no sign on the very counter top that you are now standing behind?"
"There may have been. I don't put up the --"
"So you concede that there was a sign?!"
"Ok, yeah. Sure."
"And that sign said twenty percent off men's slacks on Tuesday the 30th?"
"I don't remember."
"I see. I see." Mr. Penny said. "I wish to speak to your manager."
"I told you, he's got a thing."
"Ah. This 'Jeff' is your manager?"
"Yes. Jeff's the boss."
"Very well. Have him contact me at his next earliest convenience."
"Do you still want the pants?"
"I don't think so, no. I only brought enough with the 20 percent and then the bus -- "
"It's fine, don't worry about it."
"Yeah, it's fine."
"Thank you, sir."
"Just don't tell --"
"You have my word that Jeff will remain in the dark about our transaction here today." This Men's Warehouse is a vile machine.

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