Tuesday, July 14, 2009

This is a conversation that just happened. In real life. Before I begin, you should know I do something that's basically internet logistics, I make sure things are in the right place while trying to ignore how horribly ironic that job is for someone who so desperately does not want to be where he is. I will kill everyone in the world with my terrifying might.

"Why do we have this order?"
"You guys have a Spanish speaking editor."
"Right, but why do we have it?"
"Because of boring reason A, and we only have --"
"I will cut you off and tell you that there are several offices that can handle this sort of task."
"I kindly disagree, there are only 3 places that can do this type of task."
"No, there's five or six."
"No, there are only three offices that have Spanish speaking editors ."
"So you're telling me that there are only three offices that have Spanish speaking --"
"I will cut you off and say 'yep' because you are an asshole, because anyone in the world who begins a fucking sentence with "So you're telling me" and then repeats the previous sentence verbatim is an asshole."
"Only three?"
"Sigh. That's right. That's what I said."
"Which three is that?"
"You, Houston and New York."
"What about SF?"
"You realize that I have no reason to lie to you, right?"
"SF. What about frank?"
"Fabricio? He quit.
"Yeah. He's gone."
"You know, we lost touch almost instantly."
"You really want to know where Fabricio went?"
"That's right."
"Really he could be anywhere. You should contact his next of kin."
"You're an asshole."


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